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Kalzumeus Software

My name is Patrick McKenzie (better known as patio11 on the Internets). Once upon a time, I was an engineer. I had an idea for some software. Programming it was pretty easy. Marketing it was not, but I really enjoyed the new challenge. At some point over the years, I graduated from being an engineer to running a software business. I’ve been writing regularly since 2006 — check out my greatest hits for a curated list of the best stuff I’ve produced, or read this if you want the brief overview.

Kalzumeus Software is named after a dragon in a long-forgotten RPG campaign. It’s so hard to find available .com domain names these days, I swear.

I love talking to other small businesses at any time, for any reason: please, drop me an email. I respond to as many as I can, time permitting. Nothing makes me happier than helping people out. See the Standing Invitation for details.

These days I’m working at Stripe on Stripe Atlas. Opinions expressed on this site are my own.

Some Things I've Done

I've run a few small software companies over the last few years, but am not actively involved in any at present. Some examples:

Bingo Card Creator

Bingo Card Creator makes bingo cards for teachers. This was my first business; I ran it from 2006 through 2015.

Appointment Reminder

Appointment Reminder makes automated phone calls, emails, and text messages to the clients of professional services businesses. I founded it in 2010 and sold the business in September 2016.

Kalzumeus Software

Kalzumeus Software is the catch-all umbrella for my consulting business (which was mostly active from 2010 through 2012) and occasional side projects.

Recent Essays

Tether: The Story So Far

October 29, 2019

A friend of mine, who works in finance, asked me to explain what Tether was.

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How Discount Brokerages Make Money

June 26, 2019

This is outside of my usual software-oriented beat, but sometimes people are wrong on the Internet. Most recently, people have been wrong about payment for order flow, an esoteric topic in the investing industry which seems vaguely unsavory to Hacker News commenters, Michael Lewis [0], etc.

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What Working At Stripe Has Been Like

March 19, 2019

I joined Stripe two years ago to make starting an Internet business easier, mostly by work on Stripe Atlas. After founding four small software companies I wanted peers to deal with less nonsense, either by productizing a solution to it or by writing up the things I wish I had known back in 2006 when I started. In the same spirit, here’s what I didn’t know prior to joining Stripe.

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